What’s the difference between wanting to do something and doing something? Between wanting to be something and being something? Wanting to write music merely requires a desire. Writing music requires action--you have to sit at a computer or table and input or write notes. Wanting is internal potential energy, while doing is external kinetic energy. If you want to be a musician or a founder, you have to transfer the wanting energy into an action in the real world. Wanting is a thought. Doing and being is a reaching out. Stop wanting and lift your arm.
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Sometimes you need to go into nature, get away from the phones, the cars, and even other people. As I head into the Maine woods for two weeks for a conducting retreat, I'm excited to focus on music--generally divorced from the non-musical aspects that can consume us. I went once before into the Maine woods and returned invigorated and recharged. Some alone time with Brahms, Beethoven, or whatever music might be on your mind helps melt away the layers of jade and shade that accumulates.
When you see someone who has been truly touched by a musical experience, music moves into a realm beyond strategy, business, and artisanship. It becomes something so tenderly human and personally unique because the listener has started attaching personal memories and feelings to it. The music is just a vehicle for those evokations and emotions. Creating the best vehicle requires us to play our best, for us to invest ourselves in it. The mixture of ourselves with the listener makes the music nothing less than distilled humanity. It’s perhaps the opposite of divine--but attains deep meaning to both musicians and audience.
There’s a lot of work we avoid--the stuff that’s hard, annoying, tedious for sure. But also the stuff that’s meaningful to us, the things we’re afraid to get wrong. We avoid both of these to our-and the world’s detriment. The annoying, tedious work helps us build patience. The meaningful work--we know why it matters, which is why it’s meaningful. In The Hard Thing About Hard Things, Ben Horowitz talks about when he started to do boxing. His teacher told him that instead of avoiding the hits, he had to learn to love getting hit. It seems like this is true across life.
Does your ensemble move something deep within you? If not, it’s an opportunity to search for and do something that does deeply move you--and your audience. Music’s deep roots in human culture makes anything less a shame.
I’ve just recently come off of an extended touring season with a few organizations. It doesn’t seem to matter what field you’re in--military musicians, high-end classical musicians, and even kids seem to go after that difficult-to-describe high point of performance where true music connects with real audiences. We don’t always achieve it, but we strive for it.
Becoming jaded means that we’ve become frustrated with that search for more--maybe we don’t think it’s possibly anymore. Or maybe we are having a hard time connecting with others. Overcoming this might mean that we have to go back to basics and think about why we perform in the first place--and doing a performance that matters to both us and an audience (whoever that might be). Relationships with people and music go through the same stages. First, you might really like (platonically or not) a piece or someone. Then, you become bored with them (and perhaps a bit annoyed). Then, you accept them (it) for what they are with all their flaws. X is just that way! Of course, you don’t have to choose to continue to associate with a person or a piece of music. No matter what, though, you have to give them your attention--and (people) give you theirs. It’s a swapping of attention. Even with music, you might as well make the attention you spend on it worth your time. Do something interesting. For people, be kind and mutually helpful and respectful. Above all, understand the value of attention. It’s the modern world’s true form of currency.
You can pick any audience and any audience can pick you. You can choose where and on whom to spend your energy and attention, but you can’t choose who will resonate with you. Maybe it’s who you expected, maybe it’s not. The attention you do have is the real resource. Whoever it is, take it and do something worthy of that attention.
If you want to start an ensemble, you have to choose whether you will be a nonprofit or for-profit business. Nonprofits can’t afford to be weak--they are still businesses after all. For-profits can’t afford to be ruthless. Both require the cultivation of audiences and our most valuable resource--relationships with talented musicians. Money matters with both. The main difference is who owns the business: for-profits are run by the business owners (you!) and nonprofits are run by boards on behalf of the public. Neither decision is good or bad--they simply come with different consequences. In the end, it’s an important decision--but not as important as the decision to work hard on whatever route you go. Both need your best work. Go on and start. We’re waiting.
There are other people out there who want what you want. Search for them. Find them. They are your allies and your real audience. You don’t have to convince them that what you’re doing is valuable--they already know. Use all the resources at your disposal. Then, you can inspire each other.
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